My Battle with Chronic Illness
I’m wanting to share as much as possible about my own background, because I often receive a lot of messages and questions about my own personal health journey and how I’ve reached the stage I am at today, now practising as a nutritional therapist with a full-time business, ARDERE.
My journey into healthy eating began not through the desire to lose weight, but the desire to heal myself of chronic disease. I was first exposed to the world of wellness not by choice, but through a very painful and yet significant period of my life. In 2012, I became ill with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. The condition is also referred to as M.E or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
M.E refers to an illness that affects multiple bodily systems, and it can affect each individual in a totally different way. It is estimated that there are 250,000 sufferers in the UK, with many more undiagnosed.
For me, it started out as a viral infection that set in during my second year at university, and as my flu symptoms got worse, I never fully recovered. Day-to-day I battled with severe brain fog, cognitive decline, fatigue, digestive issues (IBS), heart palpitations, anxiety, vertigo (feeling dizzy), amongst a whole host of food intolerances and chemical sensitivities.
Symptoms like brain fog made me feel stupid. I would try and finish the end of my sentence but the words didn’t come. As a 19 year old girl, it worried me that my brain wasn’t functioning and I couldn’t access the information in my head.
I would pace myself throughout each day, to avoid spending energy that I didn’t have (and avoid any relapses where I’d be in bed the next day).
The same went with my diet, as I had a narrow range of foods that were “safe” for me, as I tried to reintroduce and was knocked back by various digestive issues which were hugely distressing.
This way of living was almost like walking on a tightrope, trying to maintain the perfect balance of eating well, exercising enough (but not too much), taking the right supplements and managing my stress levels in order to achieve homeostasis and get well, but life doesn’t always work in the perfect order and often I would stumble, whether it was something I ate, a stressful event happening and then my symptoms would flare up again.
I had to become a very conscious person. In a way, I have to admit, I had to be hugely self-obsessed. I don’t mean that in a way that sounds as though I was constantly looking at myself in the mirror, but that I would wake up each day and assess myself for symptoms and how I was feeling. Every move I made, every decision I made was based upon what was going to happen to my body afterwards (my health hiccups had trained me to think in this way). It’s a very strange way to live and it really did suck the fun out of things. At times I felt like I just existed and was always on alert for setbacks. I became an observer rather than a participator, and I hated it. Taking care of myself quickly became a full time job.
What’s worse about battling an illness like this is the lack of professional guidance. When you’re ill for a number of years, one of the hardest things is having a doctor or medical professional tell you that everything is fine. In actual fact, it was a blessing for me to find a diagnosis after so many years of searching.
When things are going so terribly wrong with your health, the last thing you want to hear is that it is all in your head or that you are making it up, you want to be told what is wrong with you.
So the consensus was - M.E / CFS.
Hotly debated by many medics, M.E / CFS is highly contentious and there is still disagreement on an accurate name for the illness, as many feel that CFS does not convey the severity of the illness and M.E surmises that there is brain and spinal cord inflammation occurring, but this is just one theorised aspect of what is a multi-faceted disorder.
With a lack of medical understanding and professional awareness, this transpires into the public domain and often sufferers (myself included) are treated with ridicule and misunderstanding, in a time where support is needed the most.
When did illness ever become so controversial?
So back to my journey… I put myself through another 3 years of education because I didn’t believe I was strong enough for the working world quite yet, and thought that if I delay by 3 years, that should be enough time for me to recover my health back.
Studying nutrition, it initially wasn’t so trendy to be conscious of food choices. In fact, I was actually judged for this by peers. I’m grateful that it’s very in-vogue right now to eat healthily and awareness of nutrition is much more widespread. I’m also very grateful that I’m not such an alien living in London with health-food shops and cafes all around me!
When you have a chronic illness, it doesn’t matter whether you look unwell or not. I am hugely passionate about invisible disease and raising awareness that if you look well, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are. Illnesses that aren’t physical should NOT be overlooked.
We’ve come so far in the way of mental health awareness that, thankfully, people are more understanding that there is more that goes on behind closed doors than may initially seem (regardless of whether you look “healthy” or not).
It was one of the hardest experiences of my whole life and it’s difficult when people don’t see the true extent of your suffering.
So… the reason I entered into nutritional therapy was through my experience with chronic disease. People have this misconception that food is simply something that can either make you gain or lose weight, but really there is so much more to food than aesthetics… it can influence so much in the way of our health.
For those of you reading, particularly those who are struggling with a chronic illness, please find hope that amongst the hard times, it does definitely get better and there was a time that I didn’t even feel capable of handling everything that I am handling right now, but I am!
Keep the faith and always stay in tune with your body and give it time, respect and patience. With intuition comes power, insight and strength!
You can read more about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome along with my experience, the science and advice on how to get well again in my book here.
Support by Lauren?
More on My Journey with Chronic Illness:
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome / 12 Quick Facts
Fighting Fatigue? How to Naturally Increase your Energy Levels
Resources for Further Information and Support: